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By:
Michele Dawson - Realty
Times
Amid the stacks of
legal documents waiting to be signed, the stresses of
last-minute negotiations, and the unappealing prospect of
packing up all your belongings, sometimes the children --
and the feelings they're encountering -- get lost in the
shuffle.
As you prepare to
move, you'll want to make a concerted effort to ensure
your children are in the loop. While they may be going
about their normal routine with no visible sign of
anxiety, it's there -- or will be there -- once the big
day arrives. After all, moving means change – new
friends, a new school, new places to go, and a new set of
concerns and worries.
There are many things
you can do to help your child -- whether you have a
3-year-old or a 16-year-old -- ease the transition.
One of the most
important -- and difficult -- things that can help your
child is keeping your own stress level down. Kids pick up
on parental emotions. If you're apprehensive or nervous,
kids will mimic that behavior. However, if you're cool and
confident, kids are more likely to be, too.
Also, no matter how
old your children, be sure to talk about the upcoming move
at all stages of the process. Kids need time to warm up to
new ideas and get adjusted to major changes in their
lives. Talk to children about the changes to expect,
answer questions, and make sure that children understand
you're willing to discuss their concerns at any time.
Some tips to help you
prepare your children for the move include:
Once you know you will
be moving, try to bring your child along when you look at
houses so they understand and come to accept that the
family will be moving.
If you're moving to
another part of the state or to a different state, pull
out a map and show your child where you'll be moving.
Explain any differences in weather or any nearby
attractions that may interest the child, such as moving
closer to the ocean, the mountains, even close to an
amusement park. Look at web sites with information about
your new community.
Take your child to
visit his or her new school. If possible, try to arrange
for your child to meet the teacher ahead of time.
Gather information on
the sports or other extra-curricular activities that
interest your child so you know how and when to sign up.
For older children involved in high school sports, look at
area newspapers to read up on the teams' activities.
Before you move, hold
a going-away party for your child. Encourage your child to
keep contact with his or her old friends while encouraging
new friendships.
Help your child put
together a scrapbook, photo album or journal of your old
house and special memories the family shared -- whether
it's spent sipping hot chocolate in front of the fireplace
or the hidden-away closet that became your child's
favorite place for hide-and-seek.
When you move into
your new home, begin a new keepsake and encourage your
child to write about his or her hopes and expectations at
the new home.
Encourage your child
to take part in the moving process as much as possible.
Younger children can help back some of their favorite
items to help them realize that although the family will
be in a new home, their belongings will stay with them.
Once you've selected
your new house, show your child where his or her room will
be. Draw a sketch of the room layout and let your child
take part in determining where he or she will place the
furniture.
If your budget allows,
perhaps help your child choose a new décor for the new
bedroom. If nothing else, new paint in a bright color is
an inexpensive way to brighten up the room and give your
child a sense of personalizing his or her new room.
For toddler-aged
children, speak with pediatricians regarding such issues
as the introduction of a new diet or the start of toilet
training.
Above all else,
communicate with your child throughout the process.
Children are creatures
of habit and any disruption in their daily routine will
naturally prompt reactions, whether it's a rebellious
attitude among teens or tantrums among toddlers. Let them
know it's normal to feel sad and anxious, but help them
through the transition and emphasize all the wonderful new
experiences that lie ahead. |
